VIAGRA
1. We are now in the VIAGRA age. You'd better watch your language and don't make men confused by asking them the question: WHAT'S UP man?
2. One old man went to see a doctor for a Viagra presciption. He told the doctor to give him twice the number of Viagra pills that he needs.
'Why do you need that much?' the doctor asked
'Oh doctor! I want to die! I want to die!' the old man replied
After having a lot of fun the old man actually died. He was burried in an OPEN coffin. His friends couldn't close the coffin
3. Guys! This is a true story and I'm not kidding okay!
In a survey done by a local Vietnamese paper in San Jose on the use of Viagra among Vietnamese men one guy gave his impression as follows:
'You know! What a waste! It's like riding on a bus. You bought a day pass but your wife only let you have one ride.
FRENCH AND AMERICAN DETECTIVES
1. There was a young couple riding in a limousine along the Champs Elysees. Suddenly the wife felt aroused and wanted to have sex with her handsome husband. She tried to turn him on and persuade him to make love to her immediately. Finally the husband agreed and stopped the car. Trying to make his act as less conspicuous as he could he put a blanket underneath the limousine and Whoops! he went.
After a while a French dectective named Pierre arrived. He tried to put a handcuff on the husband's wrists.
'You are under arrest' he told the guy
'What's wrong? I am just repairing my car. Why do you want to arrest me?'
'I arrest you for three reasons' the detective said
'One, You say that you are fixing your car but your feet are pointing in the wrong direction'
'Two, there are fifty guys standing around you now and cheering Vivre la France!'
'Three, your car was towed away half an hour ago'
2. Colombo, a smart American detective, was strolling along the street in front of the White House. Suddenly he spotted two cars that were parked very close to the President's mansion and he heard some noise under the cars.
'What are you doing down there? Colombo asked the couple under the first car
'We're doing some rock and roll' the man replied
'Go somewhere else to do your rock and roll okay!' Colombo said
Colombo went on to the second car and asked the same question. A nice girl in a red beret* looked up and said 'I am trying to do my boss a favor okay!'
SOCIAL SECURITY
One 65 year old guy went to a Social Security office in Atlantic City to apply for his social security. He did not have any paper on him to prove his age. When asked by one officer to produce his ID he said: 'Sorry sir! I don't have any paper but I am actually sixty five'. The officer in trying to do some investigation then asked the old man to open up his shirt. When he saw a lot of grey hair on the man's chest he agreed. 'You are eligible for social security. Go home and we'll send you the money'
The old guy was so happy. He went home and told his wife: 'Today I went to the Social Security office and the officer there just asked me to open up my shirt and I was qualified for social security. My God! if you go over there and drop your pants you'll be eligible for disability .
* Monica Lewinski
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